always.

03 May, 2006

get over it

dese were taken on 1st may 2006. our anniversary.5 mths since we gt engaged.oh.so.wonderful.yeah.

seems like my joys ended der.

wat would u do if u found out dat ure boyfriend or shuld i say fianceé in ma case has an illegitimate kid?

wif sum other gal?

well.i didnt accept it too well i gez.i mean.who wuld?he beat about the bush.saying he made it all up.den said dat its his.den said its made-up.wat kinda bullshit am i handling here?den once.after we got engaged.i was so pissed off wif dat kid's piix in his hp dat i deleted the whole folder.mind u.der were more than one.say wat u wana.coz its gone now.n he threatened to leave me if i cant get dose piix back.i mean.wat kinda idiot u take me for.u be happy coz u got e piix back.n me still sore for helping u get it back.well.its a satisfaction actually dat i got to delete it away.but great disappointment to noe e truth.but till now he said its made up.yeah rite.go fuck a cow.

den more were spilled.found out e kid came around ''our'' house one day.saw it in ur bro's hp.i didnt wana say a word.needed some time to regain myself.got me thinking dat u muz b in contact wif her mum.i mean.she couldnt haf come by herself.she's onli two.i asked for a moment alone.but all u gave me.

was to hurt me more.

its not dat kid's fault.i noe.but becoz of dat kid i was put down.i was left to fil lyk shit.i was left worthless in ur eyes.haf u thot how i felt?u always want me to tell u how i fil but wen i did.all u did was to scream.n hurt me.n hurt me more.n make me bleed.

i helped u wif ur lies.so dat dey wuld understand.but i'm helping u lie without noeing dat u had her in mind.if only i had known earlier.dey muz think dat im so stupid to be able to accept all dis.

dat im such an idiot to be allowed to be used like dis.

im not.im not.im not.im not.im not.im not.im not.im not.im not.im not.im not.im not.

i didnt noe.

i gave u e chance to leave me.go find her mum n her.go build dat family.im not for u.truth is.i had enuf.i had enuf of competing.i had enuf of getting hurt.i had enuf of u.

i noe u're still tinking of her.why didnt dis happen before the new year came?why didnt i find out before e ring was placed on ma finger?why u gotta put me thru dis kinda shit?im not a puppet.a ragdoll.neither.u can hurt me physically coz i dun break so easily.but dun play wif ma emo strings.dey are so.so.fragile.im halfway losing ma self-confidence.

n ure telling me to get over it?

no more dat bitch i used to be.

wat else u gona take away from me?

all i noe now.i'm never gona haf ur kids.never.u've hurt me too much.

''disha'' is dead as far as im concerned.


23 year old female scorpion. simple-minded gal who tends to make things reali complicated. i'm fairly organized [at tyms!!] & has beknowned to be a PERFECTIONIST. fav colors are apple green,red,orange & black. proud owner of apple green hyundai getz. appreciates nothing but e truth. known to be goddamn stubborn. license class 2b. to do a degree in english. more lots money!! lose weight!!! modify my green baby. be my fren. multiply me. nadia b. nadia. wanie. nina. ain. queenbee. zee exclusive. belo chix. xiaxue the blogger. the critic. ijat snake. 2006.04 2006.05 2006.06 2006.07 2006.08 2006.09 2006.10 2006.11 2006.12 2007.01 2007.02 2007.03 2007.04 2007.05 2007.06 2007.07 2007.08 2007.09 2007.10 2007.12 2008.01 2008.10 2008.12 2009.02 smacked.	03 May, 2006 get over it dese were taken on 1st may 2006. our anniversary.5 mths since we gt engaged.oh.so.wonderful.yeah. seems like my joys ended der. wat would u do if u found out dat ure boyfriend or shuld i say fianceé in ma case has an illegitimate kid? wif sum other gal? well.i didnt accept it too well i gez.i mean.who wuld?he beat about the bush.saying he made it all up.den said dat its his.den said its made-up.wat kinda bullshit am i handling here?den once.after we got engaged.i was so pissed off wif dat kid's piix in his hp dat i deleted the whole folder.mind u.der were more than one.say wat u wana.coz its gone now.n he threatened to *leave me* if i cant get dose piix back.i mean.wat kinda idiot u take me for.u be happy coz u got e piix back.n me still sore for helping u get it back.well.its a *satisfaction* actually dat i got to delete it away.but great disappointment to noe e truth.but till now he said its made up.yeah rite.go fuck a cow. den more were spilled.found out e kid came around ''our'' house one day.saw it in ur bro's hp.i didnt wana say a word.needed some time to regain myself.got me thinking dat u muz b in contact wif her mum.i mean.she couldnt haf come by herself.she's onli two.i asked for a moment alone.but all u gave me. was to hurt me more. its not dat kid's fault.i noe.but becoz of dat kid i was put down.i was left to fil lyk shit.i was left worthless in ur eyes.haf u thot how i felt?u always want me to tell u how i fil but wen i did.all u did was to scream.n hurt me.n hurt me more.n make me bleed. i helped u wif ur lies.so dat dey wuld understand.but i'm helping u lie without noeing dat u had her in mind.if only i had known earlier.dey muz think dat im so stupid to be able to accept all dis. dat im such an idiot to be allowed to be used like dis. im not.im not.im not.im not.im not.im not.im not.im not.im not.im not.im not.im not. i didnt noe. i gave u e chance to leave me.go find her mum n her.go build dat family.im not for u.truth is.i had enuf.i had enuf of competing.i had enuf of getting hurt.i had enuf of u. i noe u're still tinking of her.why didnt dis happen before the new year came?why didnt i find out before e ring was placed on ma finger?why u gotta put me thru dis kinda shit?im not a puppet.a ragdoll.neither.u can hurt me physically coz i dun break so easily.but dun play wif ma emo strings.dey are so.so.fragile.im halfway losing ma self-confidence. n ure telling me to get over it? no more dat bitch i used to be. wat else u gona take away from me? all i noe now.i'm never gona haf ur kids.never.u've hurt me too much. *''disha'' is dead as far as im concerned.* 11:00:00 AM ·