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23 year old female scorpion. simple-minded gal who tends to make things reali complicated. i'm fairly organized [at tyms!!] & has beknowned to be a PERFECTIONIST. fav colors are apple green,red,orange & black. proud owner of apple green hyundai getz. appreciates nothing but e truth. known to be goddamn stubborn.

license class 2b. to do a degree in english. more lots money!! lose weight!!! modify my green baby.




smacked.

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17 June, 2006

got me thinkin.
while i was all alone.
y im tryin so hard to save e relationship.
we had a talk yesterday.
told me bout his ex gals.
most were in 'his crowd.'
kinda been der.done dat.
a place i noe i dun belong.
a place i tink i dun belong.
we dun fit.
we dun match.
we dunch belong to e same crowd.
we dunch belong to e same world.
we're worlds apart.
he wants sumone who wuld settle down.
but he kips on looking for those who aint.
im not ready to settle.
burt.im forcing maself for him.
his ex gals all look lik celebs.
y wuld he wan a plain jane lyk me.
his ex gals all lived for money.
im juz a nobody.
y would he wana be wif a loser lyk me.
he puts his frenz on top of anything else.
while me ditched those surrounding me.
we dunch share e same interests.
got me thinkin so much.
y im tryin so hard.
became a stalker to get him to me.
became suicidal to make him luf me.
i noe he lufs me.
burt.im startin to think its out of sympathy.
out of pity.
changed for him.
ceased ma past coz of him.
i noe he's tryin hard too.
burt.e wrong way.
we're not meant to be.
e truth seems to slap me hard.
wat we had was more lyk an infatuation.
a long infatuation which is comin to an end.
its no wonder why i kip bitchin behind his back.
we juz dun fit.
still.it hurts to come to a realization.
or dat maybe im super sensitive to e whole thing.
appreciate ur advises.
burt.i nid to do dis on ma own.
e pix i painted him of makes u think he's a jerk.
he's not actually.
he's juz himself.
& we dunch fit.
dats all.
i nid tym to find maself.
to reali noe wat im lookin for all dis while.
find who i reali am.
onli those who had been thru wuld reali understand wat i mean.