license class 2b.
to do a degree in english.
more lots money!!
lose weight!!!
modify my green baby.
be my fren.
multiply me.nadia b. nadia. wanie. nina. ain. queenbee. zee exclusive. belo chix. xiaxue the blogger. the critic. ijat snake.
2006.04
2006.05
2006.06
2006.07
2006.08
2006.09
2006.10
2006.11
2006.12
2007.01
2007.02
2007.03
2007.04
2007.05
2007.06
2007.07
2007.08
2007.09
2007.10
2007.12
2008.01
2008.10
2008.12
2009.02
smacked.
27 June, 2006
ok peeps.
dis is e pix of ma cuzzin who got engaged recently.
(e one under e blk.)
dats her n sis n dad.
she's e one in pink.her sis e one in white.
dunch noe whos e one in purple.
in case ure wondering.
dats e fiancee.gorging himself.hekz.
..........................................................................
kinda getting tired of ma relationship.
everythin is nothin.
nothin is everythin.
hurrh.
used to say dis wenever he held me tite thru e nite.
we fit so well together.
wasnt suffocatin.
didnt strangle me.
burrt.now.
dat piece is not fittin in animore.
strange.awkward.
fils lyk i dun even noe him.
aint chasing animore.
basically im runnin.
its lyk i noe he's der.
cant move forward.
cant go to another direction.
stagnant.
we talked about anythin on e surface.
but not bout us.
not us.
not wat we've been doin.
or wat we gona do.
i duno him animore.
hate to admit dis.
aint even wearin e ring nimore.
apart from e fact dat im allergic to it.
dunch c e nid to.
i mean.
we wore e ring becoz of a reason.
burrt. e reason's fading away.
we're losin it.
my sis once said to me.
"u guys are supposed to show people dat dey are wrong.
dat u can so make it and make dis relationship work.
let dem have it.dunch let dem win e battle."
i told her no.
im givin up.
im losing e war.
let dem noe dey have won.
coz i cant take it animore.
i know i cant.
i cant be in a relationship wer i duno who he is.
wat he'e been doin.
practically engaged to a stranger.no.
i cant do it.
yesternite.
was reading a book on tying e knot.
as in marriage.
e female lead has been cohabiting wip e male lead.
for a year.
and dey are gettin married.
despite e huge differences dey had.
dey are doin it.
and dey are happy wip e decision.
ive dreamt of dis becomin.
dat we'd get married.
live together.share our joys and pain.
kids.
juz living it all.
havin it all.
but slowly.
each wish i had has been taken away from me.
i want no kids nimore.
no living together.
no sharing.counted as 2 diff individuals.
lastly.
no marriage.
it saddens me to think dat ive managed to come so far.
yet i had to let go.
e onli whom i thot would end dis journey together wip me.
is now juz another stranger taking a walk in my path.
well.yeah.
i aint old.
burrt.not getting younger either.
how many more of dis kinda relationship could i take.
if each one takes 3 yrs of ma life.
i'll be 30 before i reali get to settle down.
by then.
we would have to work reali hard for our first kid.
and forget early retirement.
so not happening.
givin me a headache juz thinking bout dis.
i used to complain why he hids to c me 24/7.
burrt.now findin maself wishin he WULD c me 24/7.
eeeeuuuuurrrrgggggghhhhh.