always.

22 August, 2006

juz got back home. devastating news were heard. dd went over to his mum's place n asked her to come over to mine. i gez dis it. it's reali over between us. im so confused. at one point i reali wan him to do dis, yet at another i didnt wana let go. i noe it may sounds stupid. but onli me wuld undestand coz im going thru dis, not others. he said dat he 'takde muka' wana get back to me after i rejected him a few times. it hurts dat it doesnt make him realize. n hurts dat i realized i dun mean much to him animore. or else. worthless. no one is hearing my pleas. how could he do dis to me? wuld letting go be e only solution? would it reali solve everything? for sure he'd be outta ma life. but can i live wif e fact dat having been thru all dis, in e end it was juz crap? juz nothing?

im hurt. i thot dat he would realize. thot he cant go on without me. but im so so so wrong. coz without me he proved to be going on well. n it seems lyk he has oreadi let go.

n in all dis, im also hurting irul. who realizes dat im still in luf wif dd. kinda shitty actuali. me in luf wif dd n irul in luf wif me. dun exactly practising wat i preached hurh? but im too scared. im too afraid to let go of e luf ive built for all dis while. n im too skeptical to accept a new beginning.

how i wish dat all dis is a bad drim...n wen i wake up we're back to 1st january 2004, wen luf was still pure between us. n i make sure der had be no mistakes dis tym. but i noe its too late now. too late to do anything. last i heard is dat his side is coming over dis wkend. n i hope n pray dat e wkend would not come.


23 year old female scorpion. simple-minded gal who tends to make things reali complicated. i'm fairly organized [at tyms!!] & has beknowned to be a PERFECTIONIST. fav colors are apple green,red,orange & black. proud owner of apple green hyundai getz. appreciates nothing but e truth. known to be goddamn stubborn. license class 2b. to do a degree in english. more lots money!! lose weight!!! modify my green baby. be my fren. multiply me. nadia b. nadia. wanie. nina. ain. queenbee. zee exclusive. belo chix. xiaxue the blogger. the critic. ijat snake. 2006.04 2006.05 2006.06 2006.07 2006.08 2006.09 2006.10 2006.11 2006.12 2007.01 2007.02 2007.03 2007.04 2007.05 2007.06 2007.07 2007.08 2007.09 2007.10 2007.12 2008.01 2008.10 2008.12 2009.02 smacked.	22 August, 2006 juz got back home. devastating news were heard. dd went over to his mum's place n asked her to come over to mine. i gez dis it. it's reali over between us. im so confused. at one point i reali wan him to do dis, yet at another i didnt wana let go. i noe it may sounds stupid. but onli me wuld undestand coz im going thru dis, not others. he said dat he 'takde muka' wana get back to me after i rejected him a few times. it hurts dat it doesnt make him realize. n hurts dat i realized i dun mean much to him animore. or else. worthless. no one is hearing my pleas. how could he do dis to me? wuld letting go be e only solution? would it reali solve everything? for sure he'd be outta ma life. but can i live wif e fact dat having been thru all dis, in e end it was juz crap? juz nothing? im hurt. i thot dat he would realize. thot he cant go on without me. but im so so so wrong. coz without me he proved to be going on well. n it seems lyk he has oreadi let go. n in all dis, im also hurting irul. who realizes dat im still in luf wif dd. kinda shitty actuali. me in luf wif dd n irul in luf wif me. dun exactly practising wat i preached hurh? but im too scared. im too afraid to let go of e luf ive built for all dis while. n im too skeptical to accept a new beginning. how i wish dat all dis is a bad drim...n wen i wake up we're back to 1st january 2004, wen luf was still pure between us. n i make sure der had be no mistakes dis tym. but i noe its too late now. too late to do anything. last i heard is dat his side is coming over dis wkend. n i hope n pray dat e wkend would not come. 1:11:00 AM ·