ey. redid e blogskin coz wanie cant read ma entries. hehe.
niwaes. i noe i havent been updating. im juz too lazy lah. so tired. wer shall i start? ok here goes.

#1. dd. he found out bout ma nite job. apperently went stalking (hehe!) at liang court. saw me n hanz. i noe his motive is to also blame me for e whole break-up thingy. but it's ok. those who noes, noes. n those who dunch, its not even any of their biz. but we talked. n it comes down to a point dat neither of us wants to get back together thou it culd save alot of hassles. so niwaes. his side is coming down dis weekend. or so i heard. n i noe dat he oso wants to settle dis asap. cant wait to build a new, refreshing life wif e current galfren i tink. it aint ez for me accepting dis but im putting up a veri, veri strong front. n quite good at it actuali. even thou im breaking, tearing, dismantled inside. n im trying to forget he ever existed in my life. but he kips giving me daily phone calls, asking me wer i am n such. so instead of forgetting, i find myself tinking of us more. (thus e pix in shutter...) n i noe he's doing dis coz he misses having me in his life. abg ijan said so. haix. he asked me wer did e old shasha went to? y did i revert to my old self? onli he has e answer. be it he's disappointed or not doesnt matter animore. coz i noe now dat i dunch matter in his life. he himself cant wait for dis 2b over. n me? still trying to accept.

#2. irul. he still cant trust me, believing in wat people are saying more den he does believe in me. sumtyms i tink dat he's juz saying he luvs me n such for fuck. (technically speaking, not doing it.) or dat he's after me for money. god. been werking everyday yet i aint got any savings wif me. fuck. fuck. fuck. haix. tak mendatang kan hasil btol lah deknie. yesterday, he asked me to quit my nite job, be who i was before dis. as if! once bitten twice shy. no more listening to others. im gona do dis my way. n aniwaes, if we aint got e cash, how we gona live by???

#3. abg ijan. money probs. n asking from me now. pk aku nie bank negara pe. aku pnat2 keje, korg lanyak duit aku. biler mau kaya?!?! haix. but duno how to say no. he's helped me alot in trying to save our relationship. (even tho unsuccesfully) n further more, he's got 2 toddlers to feed at home. haix. nasib aku lah.

#4. good news. (i tink!) 2mrw i be going to check on laser treatments for removal of tattoos wif daddy. cnfrm bsk dia nyer muker ader senyum. suker lah tu! wateva he wants, i did. yet he still cant gif me my farking freedom. fark.fark.fark.

will update more coz im kinda tired at e mo. take care bloggers.