dis has to be e longest-shortest week ive ever experienced. i noe u dun get me. well. everyting happened so fast i cant tink. im in a daze. since last fri, every single waking moment of mine is spent wif irul, lynn, najib n khairil. yesh. khairil yusof. hakz. even deove his honda integra ard ya noe. ok big deal. hehe. but yar. every single day, every waking moment all of us stick together. thru thick n thin. we eat e same ting. smoke e same cigs. slept in e same rm. my affections for em grew as each day passed by.

even more for irul coz he was always der. he was der to hold me close wen i fall asleep n he was der to kiz me gd morning.

e 4 of us even decided to rent a house to live in together since we get along so well together.
so many plans were made. xmas...new year...

tings ended today wen he saw me wif dd. 1 ting bout his immaturity is he duno wen to stay ard n wen to go. dd called me dis morning. (surprise. surprise.) i had an appointment at kk today n he was der wif me. den we went for dinner n talked bout us. it wasnt bout patching tings up but instead how we shuld settle dis e rite way. he said he was afraid i mite hurt him, n e best way is 2 juz go our seperate ways. but dis hart of mine, still mending n aching for him, wuldnt take dis as an answer. and much as i persuaded him, i noe dat dis relationship is almost as good as done.

so den he sent me home. irul was under ma blk waiting for me. den he saw us n he juz had to come n confront us. get dis straight. yes. even though ure wif me, u stil gotta remember dat dd n i r stil tied together. n foolishly, u thot dat by telling him every single intimate detail bout us, i wuld come back crawling to u after he left me. boy were u so wrong. u were so wrong coz our relationship had its own probs too. u still aint werking n u haf fines n debts to pay off. u cant kip on living off me while i go out n werk. evenmore, u touched me e wrong way. u hurt me physically.

now he's gone missing. everyone is looking for him. i cant contact him at all. he wun pik up my calls or answer my sms. god i juz pray dat he's safe from wateva mishaps.

between me n dd. i duno wat's gona happen 2 us. i duno if he's coming bk for gopd or juz playing ard wif my feelings again. but if he reali is juz playing ad, den i hope dat i wun hear from him again. all i noe now is dat he's got another gal. i wun b so selfish so as to take him away from her wen he's found happiness elsewer.

ann advised me to juz leave e both of dem n start afresh. n maybe, its tym dat i do juz dat.