license class 2b.
to do a degree in english.
more lots money!!
lose weight!!!
modify my green baby.
be my fren.
multiply me.nadia b. nadia. wanie. nina. ain. queenbee. zee exclusive. belo chix. xiaxue the blogger. the critic. ijat snake.
2006.04
2006.05
2006.06
2006.07
2006.08
2006.09
2006.10
2006.11
2006.12
2007.01
2007.02
2007.03
2007.04
2007.05
2007.06
2007.07
2007.08
2007.09
2007.10
2007.12
2008.01
2008.10
2008.12
2009.02
smacked.
29 September, 2006
yesh. ive gone n did it again. hakz. new blogskin.
n im so god-damn proud of it!! hehe. not reali done yet actuali.
did on a whim, wif no directions or inspiration or watsoeva.
so. gotta admit its quite good.
ok lah. stop it.
niwaes. 6 days into e fasting month ey. seems to zip by.
before we can even realize, its gona be hari raya soon. haixx.
dread...dread....dread....
sick of updating bout e boyz nimore. so not gona do it today.
but. juz for e record, hanz is back wif me.
hehe.
i noe nana. wat ure thinking. wat kinda deep shit am i gona
get myself into next.
frankly, i aint got e answers yet.
but as i always say,
take e days as dey come.
oh. n juelz. werforeart thou julez?
havent heard from u babes.
tag me aites?
aites peepz. till den, take care.
n im so god-damn proud of it!! hehe. not reali done yet actuali.
did on a whim, wif no directions or inspiration or watsoeva.
so. gotta admit its quite good.
ok lah. stop it.
niwaes. 6 days into e fasting month ey. seems to zip by.
before we can even realize, its gona be hari raya soon. haixx.
dread...dread....dread....
sick of updating bout e boyz nimore. so not gona do it today.
but. juz for e record, hanz is back wif me.
hehe.
i noe nana. wat ure thinking. wat kinda deep shit am i gona
get myself into next.
frankly, i aint got e answers yet.
but as i always say,
take e days as dey come.
oh. n juelz. werforeart thou julez?
havent heard from u babes.
tag me aites?
aites peepz. till den, take care.
25 September, 2006
hey'all. 1st of all.
slmt menyambut bulan ramadhan.
many, many things has happened.
between me. irul. n didi.
yesh. yesh i noe. getting old.
wen is e prob gona end...hakz....
niwaes. dd has realized e importance of mua
n is trying to get rid of dat gf of his. get dis.
trying but not yet fully. he realized he's wrong.
n wants us back together. i noe u'd b screaming ur hartx out: "no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" burt...
haix..i dunno. i dunno wat shuld i do now.
it wuld be much, much easier to juz go back.
but i cant juz drop everything else n juz go back to him.
wat if he does it again? den wat wuld become of me den?
he's saying things lyk he regrets his decision.
dat bitch is not even up to ma standard. (as if we didnt noe!!)
n dat he misses me, my touch, my manje2....n sleeping wif me...
n i admit. i miss all those too.
e past 2 days i spent wif him had been wonderful.
e old tyms all coming back to me now.
den we slept together...n we still fit together so snugly...
but im too afraid..im soo soo soo afaraid.
but irul.................?
n yesh. during dis period i paitao irul rabak2.
i off my hp. msgd him crapz. hurt his feelings.
as if i was sumone else. in all. he was still so patience.
n he still accepted me for who i was.
(even tho his mouth shoots watever he fils lyk saying!!!!)
i dunno if he is e one for me.
or dat i shuld juz go back to dd n
make everything normal again...
im in a dilemma. big shit.
watever u wana call it.
slmt menyambut bulan ramadhan.
many, many things has happened.
between me. irul. n didi.
yesh. yesh i noe. getting old.
wen is e prob gona end...hakz....
niwaes. dd has realized e importance of mua
n is trying to get rid of dat gf of his. get dis.
trying but not yet fully. he realized he's wrong.
n wants us back together. i noe u'd b screaming ur hartx out: "no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" burt...
haix..i dunno. i dunno wat shuld i do now.
it wuld be much, much easier to juz go back.
but i cant juz drop everything else n juz go back to him.
wat if he does it again? den wat wuld become of me den?
he's saying things lyk he regrets his decision.
dat bitch is not even up to ma standard. (as if we didnt noe!!)
n dat he misses me, my touch, my manje2....n sleeping wif me...
n i admit. i miss all those too.
e past 2 days i spent wif him had been wonderful.
e old tyms all coming back to me now.
den we slept together...n we still fit together so snugly...
but im too afraid..im soo soo soo afaraid.
but irul.................?
n yesh. during dis period i paitao irul rabak2.
i off my hp. msgd him crapz. hurt his feelings.
as if i was sumone else. in all. he was still so patience.
n he still accepted me for who i was.
(even tho his mouth shoots watever he fils lyk saying!!!!)
i dunno if he is e one for me.
or dat i shuld juz go back to dd n
make everything normal again...
im in a dilemma. big shit.
watever u wana call it.
18 September, 2006
heii.
it's 18th sept today. another month has passed. feels lyk me n irul has known each other for so long. yesh. today marks our 2nd mth anniversary. we've been thru sum ups n downs. n so far i've met his sis, his bro n his aunt. (including sum of his cuzzins.) n so far he has met mum, dad, abg ijan n nana. dunno if dis is good or bad. n yar. dey still hasnt come down last weekend. god. puasa is comin. how long more am i suppose to wait? is he even serious about dis breaking up thingy? he hasnt called me yet. mum n dad are nagging n nagging coz of me n irul, saying dat my case wif dd aint over yet. gif dem sum FACE. i dunno how much more face dey nided from me. god. enuf is enuf man. im siick n tired of all dis shit too.
aniwaes. hapi 2nd mth anniversary babez, wereva u r. (kip callin u but u aint picking up. suspect kuat masih membuta lah tu. maklumlah hujan kan.....)
it's 18th sept today. another month has passed. feels lyk me n irul has known each other for so long. yesh. today marks our 2nd mth anniversary. we've been thru sum ups n downs. n so far i've met his sis, his bro n his aunt. (including sum of his cuzzins.) n so far he has met mum, dad, abg ijan n nana. dunno if dis is good or bad. n yar. dey still hasnt come down last weekend. god. puasa is comin. how long more am i suppose to wait? is he even serious about dis breaking up thingy? he hasnt called me yet. mum n dad are nagging n nagging coz of me n irul, saying dat my case wif dd aint over yet. gif dem sum FACE. i dunno how much more face dey nided from me. god. enuf is enuf man. im siick n tired of all dis shit too.
aniwaes. hapi 2nd mth anniversary babez, wereva u r. (kip callin u but u aint picking up. suspect kuat masih membuta lah tu. maklumlah hujan kan.....)
12 September, 2006
ey. redid e blogskin coz wanie cant read ma entries. hehe.
niwaes. i noe i havent been updating. im juz too lazy lah. so tired. wer shall i start? ok here goes.
#1. dd. he found out bout ma nite job. apperently went stalking (hehe!) at liang court. saw me n hanz. i noe his motive is to also blame me for e whole break-up thingy. but it's ok. those who noes, noes. n those who dunch, its not even any of their biz. but we talked. n it comes down to a point dat neither of us wants to get back together thou it culd save alot of hassles. so niwaes. his side is coming down dis weekend. or so i heard. n i noe dat he oso wants to settle dis asap. cant wait to build a new, refreshing life wif e current galfren i tink. it aint ez for me accepting dis but im putting up a veri, veri strong front. n quite good at it actuali. even thou im breaking, tearing, dismantled inside. n im trying to forget he ever existed in my life. but he kips giving me daily phone calls, asking me wer i am n such. so instead of forgetting, i find myself tinking of us more. (thus e pix in shutter...) n i noe he's doing dis coz he misses having me in his life. abg ijan said so. haix. he asked me wer did e old shasha went to? y did i revert to my old self? onli he has e answer. be it he's disappointed or not doesnt matter animore. coz i noe now dat i dunch matter in his life. he himself cant wait for dis 2b over. n me? still trying to accept.
#2. irul. he still cant trust me, believing in wat people are saying more den he does believe in me. sumtyms i tink dat he's juz saying he luvs me n such for fuck. (technically speaking, not doing it.) or dat he's after me for money. god. been werking everyday yet i aint got any savings wif me. fuck. fuck. fuck. haix. tak mendatang kan hasil btol lah deknie. yesterday, he asked me to quit my nite job, be who i was before dis. as if! once bitten twice shy. no more listening to others. im gona do dis my way. n aniwaes, if we aint got e cash, how we gona live by???
#3. abg ijan. money probs. n asking from me now. pk aku nie bank negara pe. aku pnat2 keje, korg lanyak duit aku. biler mau kaya?!?! haix. but duno how to say no. he's helped me alot in trying to save our relationship. (even tho unsuccesfully) n further more, he's got 2 toddlers to feed at home. haix. nasib aku lah.
#4. good news. (i tink!) 2mrw i be going to check on laser treatments for removal of tattoos wif daddy. cnfrm bsk dia nyer muker ader senyum. suker lah tu! wateva he wants, i did. yet he still cant gif me my farking freedom. fark.fark.fark.
will update more coz im kinda tired at e mo. take care bloggers.
niwaes. i noe i havent been updating. im juz too lazy lah. so tired. wer shall i start? ok here goes.
#1. dd. he found out bout ma nite job. apperently went stalking (hehe!) at liang court. saw me n hanz. i noe his motive is to also blame me for e whole break-up thingy. but it's ok. those who noes, noes. n those who dunch, its not even any of their biz. but we talked. n it comes down to a point dat neither of us wants to get back together thou it culd save alot of hassles. so niwaes. his side is coming down dis weekend. or so i heard. n i noe dat he oso wants to settle dis asap. cant wait to build a new, refreshing life wif e current galfren i tink. it aint ez for me accepting dis but im putting up a veri, veri strong front. n quite good at it actuali. even thou im breaking, tearing, dismantled inside. n im trying to forget he ever existed in my life. but he kips giving me daily phone calls, asking me wer i am n such. so instead of forgetting, i find myself tinking of us more. (thus e pix in shutter...) n i noe he's doing dis coz he misses having me in his life. abg ijan said so. haix. he asked me wer did e old shasha went to? y did i revert to my old self? onli he has e answer. be it he's disappointed or not doesnt matter animore. coz i noe now dat i dunch matter in his life. he himself cant wait for dis 2b over. n me? still trying to accept.
#2. irul. he still cant trust me, believing in wat people are saying more den he does believe in me. sumtyms i tink dat he's juz saying he luvs me n such for fuck. (technically speaking, not doing it.) or dat he's after me for money. god. been werking everyday yet i aint got any savings wif me. fuck. fuck. fuck. haix. tak mendatang kan hasil btol lah deknie. yesterday, he asked me to quit my nite job, be who i was before dis. as if! once bitten twice shy. no more listening to others. im gona do dis my way. n aniwaes, if we aint got e cash, how we gona live by???
#3. abg ijan. money probs. n asking from me now. pk aku nie bank negara pe. aku pnat2 keje, korg lanyak duit aku. biler mau kaya?!?! haix. but duno how to say no. he's helped me alot in trying to save our relationship. (even tho unsuccesfully) n further more, he's got 2 toddlers to feed at home. haix. nasib aku lah.
#4. good news. (i tink!) 2mrw i be going to check on laser treatments for removal of tattoos wif daddy. cnfrm bsk dia nyer muker ader senyum. suker lah tu! wateva he wants, i did. yet he still cant gif me my farking freedom. fark.fark.fark.
will update more coz im kinda tired at e mo. take care bloggers.
05 September, 2006
heii. heii.
lyf has been treatin me lyk shit lately. god. i dunch noe y.
dd has been contacting me for e past few days wif random fone calls. asking me wat im doing, wer i am etc. haix. abg ijan ask me to juz buat bodoh. dunch kol him back. let him b e one looking for me. n dats wat ive been doin.
yesterday. spent e nite wif irul. n we fought. which almost led us to a break-up. which i prevented. haixx. ader matair pon susah, takder pon susah. mcm maner?? onli dat. i realized. maybe i reali want him in my life. (yesh nana. i dunch care bout wat u gona say bout him nimore. niwaes u said he mite be my answer to forgetting dd.) becoz for e 1st tym after e break up wif dd, i cried for another guy. i cried wen he said it was over between us. abit dumb n weak of me. i noe. im selfish. yesh i admit. i still wana go out n haf my fun while kiping him. a freedom dat ive been yearning for so long, yet my selfish hart is making me hurt sumone else. i wish live was way more simpler den dis. den i wuldnt haf to think so much bout matters of e hartx.
lyf has been treatin me lyk shit lately. god. i dunch noe y.
dd has been contacting me for e past few days wif random fone calls. asking me wat im doing, wer i am etc. haix. abg ijan ask me to juz buat bodoh. dunch kol him back. let him b e one looking for me. n dats wat ive been doin.
yesterday. spent e nite wif irul. n we fought. which almost led us to a break-up. which i prevented. haixx. ader matair pon susah, takder pon susah. mcm maner?? onli dat. i realized. maybe i reali want him in my life. (yesh nana. i dunch care bout wat u gona say bout him nimore. niwaes u said he mite be my answer to forgetting dd.) becoz for e 1st tym after e break up wif dd, i cried for another guy. i cried wen he said it was over between us. abit dumb n weak of me. i noe. im selfish. yesh i admit. i still wana go out n haf my fun while kiping him. a freedom dat ive been yearning for so long, yet my selfish hart is making me hurt sumone else. i wish live was way more simpler den dis. den i wuldnt haf to think so much bout matters of e hartx.