its 1.03am, start of a wednesday morning. here i am blogging, waiting for e BF to come n sleepover. (mind u, BF n FIANCEE are 2 DIFF people. hekz.) niwaes. he's been sleeping over since sun so im getting used to his warmth by my side every nite. im confused. very. i duno who to pick now. juz a week ago i let go of both of dem, yet now im back to square 1 which suxd so much. haixx.

cooked a dish today for dinner. udang lemak chili padi. too spicy for dad's throat. hehe. poor BF helped me to clean e hse but didnt get 2 taste my cooking. but nemind. ders still sum leftovers in e kitch.

still bored sitting at home, waiting for schedule to come out from LABW. dey had been quiet for january, so hopefully der r classes for me in feb, will be starting to teach in a secondary school soon in march. hopefully, nothing cocks up.

e FIANCEE has been talking bout marriage plans wif me. getting a house (we're getting a condo!) n stuff. if i agree, we'll be married in november. even to dis point im still confused. i duno if dis is e step i shuld take. but den again since im so unsure, i shuldnt b going thru it at all rite? haixx. e F juz wuldnt take it dat i wana leave him, dis relationship. but juz thinking of how good life wuld be juz makes me wana stay on. i noe, im materialistic.

i dun wana break e BF's hart too. more den anything, e BF is always on my mind wenever im out wif e F. its hard. i duno which is e rite path 2 choose. happiness or stability?

1:00:00 AM ·