irul juz left for home after we redecorated my fish tank. (thank u dear.) god. its been awhile since i wana go and do juz dat. so juz now in e noon, we went out. bought some sand and leaves for e tank. and i bought another 10 small neon fishes. hehe. i promise: no more unknown chemicals. so my end result.....




the one wif e only survivor of e angelfish clan.
aka the one with the new-look fish tank.

the one wif e new leaves deco.

the one wif e neon fishes.

the one wif all e big fishes.

the one with the humongous suckerfish.



im so proud. finally. some changes to e tank so dat e fishes can swim around and play. wanted to get a few more stuff as well but am financially strapped. e next most important thing on e list is to get a new filter. nicer looking and smaller so dat it doesnt hog e whole of e opening of e tank. n get corals for dem to play hide and seek. tee-hee. (even tho i tink its gona b abit cramped, but oh well. its worth trying.) and of cos to get more fishes. get dem more friends to play wif. hope it doesnt get too overcrowded. hehe.

ok on to serious stuff.

den. on last sat evening. i found out smting by sumone i known as a fren from e past. more to say he was once dd's fren. he told me stuff dat maybe was meant to be a secret or wateva. or maybe was never to beknown to any others 'cept those who haf known.

aniwaes. on 09.09.06, apparently dd was engaged to effa, e gal whom he left me for. i heard rumours bout it but never taken it seriously. but it happened. i even got a confirmation from effa herself. and being dd, he also hasnt broken off e engagement properly. dey broke up in october. but not officially. knowing both his parents wun help him on dis, he seeked help from his neighbours as his wakil. he even made up stories bout me to her family, saying dat his family doesnt like me n such, so as to convince dem dat we're reali over. idiot.

e ting is, we believed dat he was under her spell, so i duno if dis was under e influenced of it or not. but one ting's for sure, i never am gona believe another word dat comes out of his mouth. enuf of him making me play e fool. dis has gone far too much for me to handle. to get her pregnant and an abortion before was bad enuf, but to haf all dis prove infront of my eyes is worse.

i talked to effa into giving me her engagement pix as prove of e event dat has taken place. to anybody, it culd be effa getting engaged to anyone else coz e guy wasnt der. but i noe it was him. der were his racing team friends der. n thou ive never seen dis neighbour of his, but wateva.

yet e onli ting dat reali convinced me dat its him was e cubic picture frame used to hold e hantaran money. bcoz he used e same for mine.


dats hers n mine on different dates but same frame, same amount.
dis was mine on 1st jan 06.

the neighbour who supposedly took care of him wen he was little.
bullshit.

the wakil n family.

the invited. c e gal in white n e guy next to e rite?
yar. both from attitude racing team.

the peepz and wakil coming over to e gals house wif e hantarans.
finally e hantarans.

i thot i was strong enuf to handle dis. wen i heard it from dem, i culd still swallow it all. but after looking at dis pix, and mine, it juz hurts so much. from e veri core of my hart. i culd fill my old wounds becoming undone and pain shoots thru me lyk anything.

it kills me dat after only being wif her for 4 short months, dey got engaged. it hurts me dat she's worth as much as me. its sickening dat i dun even noe it had happened. its disappointing to noe dat he turned out to be such a huge bastard.

all dis while, him talking bout patching up, crying his eyes out, but yet...
i used to say "u onli gt engaged once", but in his case? its 2 in a year. im juz so farking disappointed wif him. reali. reali.
now, im juz waiting for e rite mo 2 break dis 2 my parents and make him leave me. dis is definitely not my prob animore. dis is far too much for me to handle. nothing culd justify wat he did. if he culd b engaged to 2 gals at 1 tym, marrying 4 wun b much of a prob rite?

dats it. no more am i letting him step on me. he's carrying dis far too much now. hopefully dis tym round, Allah wil help me in getting me out of dis farked-up relationship.
ya Allah, please let me be strong in dis phase, n in handling all barriers dat you haf set for me. amin.

5:11:00 PM ·