i dreamt of him again last nite. i dreamt it was his last day outside, n him telling me to wait for him. i said i wuld. den i remembered andy telling me dat actuali all dis while he wasnt at andy's house(fact). he was sumwer else. during e tym he went MIA on me. i confronted him and we fought. in my dream.



all dis while i thot he was sleeping over at andy's house, he was actuali lying to me. andy confessed.



his mum wants me to leave him. saying he's not worth it. dun tink i duno dat? but no one can explain matters of e hart. everyone wants me to leave him. n wen i was determined enuf not to, he told his mum to tell me dat if i cant wait, its ok. since he didnt tink much of dis relationship, why shuld i?



why shuld i?



coz i loved him. i was lost wen he disappeared.



den i found out all dis while he was lying to me. lying. one thing i cant stand. liars. along told me dat he's full of lies.



i didnt want to believe it at 1st. but things are pouring out now.



his mum said his sentence is 2yrs. culd i wait?



i culd if i want to. 2yrs is e tym i nid for NIE. dat is if i'm still safe out here.



i cant handle another relationship. my hart hurts too much, after one big breakup till another.



irulsha lasted 13mths. dats my 2nd longest relationship.

how culd anyone expect me to forget him?



i wana c him. talk to him. feel him. but i cant.

ders restraining orders.



i juz hope he knows how much i missed him. so much... dat it hurts. i missed having him beside me. i missed e old anwar. i missed him before all dis happened. i missed my old boyfriend, e one i fell in love wif.



even thou he's hurt me, it hurts me even more dat i gota leave.

so dat no one else gets hurt.

13mths...

18 july 2006 - 6 aug 2007

2:12:00 PM ·