license class 2b.
to do a degree in english.
more lots money!!
lose weight!!!
modify my green baby.
be my fren.
multiply me.nadia b. nadia. wanie. nina. ain. queenbee. zee exclusive. belo chix. xiaxue the blogger. the critic. ijat snake.
2006.04
2006.05
2006.06
2006.07
2006.08
2006.09
2006.10
2006.11
2006.12
2007.01
2007.02
2007.03
2007.04
2007.05
2007.06
2007.07
2007.08
2007.09
2007.10
2007.12
2008.01
2008.10
2008.12
2009.02
smacked.
23 March, 2007
finally sum tym to myslf to update ma blog. so far sch sux. yep. sec school kids sux. dey refuse to do art. complains all period round. and art onli starts after sch which is 2.30pm and ends at 5.30. so practically im soooooooooooooooooooo free in e morning. haiix. cant sleep in sch so gotta pretend dat im bz wif nothing. all my shoes are not doing anything for my feet. by e end of e day, my feet aches lyk hell. if dey culd talk, dey wuld scream. heehee. all my students are chinese coz i got hold of most express classes and graduating classes. thank god i haf some mandarin backgrd so no one can talk behind me. some kids are alright, while some are juz plain rebellious. i reali nid new tactics to get dem interested in art. haiix.....
my desk is juz a big table shred by 6 other trainees. so desk is a big mess. e teachers kip giving me books, but dey nvr tell me how to actuali run e class.
today had 1 technical class in sec 1. which was horrible. dey brought matches to school and lit it up during my lesson. dey were so hyperactive dat i culdnt make dem sit and do their work. haiix. i dread their class next week.
so. my tattoos are recovering. and dey are fading. and itching lyk hell. so every single day is a scratching day for me thou ive bn warned by several people not to. hehe. hope it wuld stop itching soon so i can reali see e difference of it all. maybe i wuldnt nid 5 more. culd be less. crossing my fingers.
my desk is juz a big table shred by 6 other trainees. so desk is a big mess. e teachers kip giving me books, but dey nvr tell me how to actuali run e class.
today had 1 technical class in sec 1. which was horrible. dey brought matches to school and lit it up during my lesson. dey were so hyperactive dat i culdnt make dem sit and do their work. haiix. i dread their class next week.
so. my tattoos are recovering. and dey are fading. and itching lyk hell. so every single day is a scratching day for me thou ive bn warned by several people not to. hehe. hope it wuld stop itching soon so i can reali see e difference of it all. maybe i wuldnt nid 5 more. culd be less. crossing my fingers.
16 March, 2007
gosh. its friday today. came and going soon. my sleeping hours are stil not stablized yet..dead lah. 2 more days to go.
so yesterday. bought 3 more angelfishes to replace dad's dead ones. bought dem a home to play hide-and-seek to. haf yet to place it in coz e angelfishes are quite "fierce", as e fish-seller says. so waiting for irul to help me. will udate pix as soon as e house is placed in.
niwaes. started e day by waking up, bathing...etc.etc. den mum brought me to dr.sidek's clinic for removal of my tattoos. yep. i took e 1st step of removing e tattoos on both my arms today, and whoooooooo-booooooooiiiiiiiii...it hurts a whole damn lot!!! dey are still stinging me as im typing dis, so dis entry gona be quite short. well. yar. so dats about it. i haf about another 5-6 more to go. damn. im dreading to tink about e other tattos on my body. uuurrrgghh. wen i did e ones on my arms, it didnt hurt at all.
i refuse to imagine e pain i will feel wen i remove e otha tattoos on my otha parts of my body..god. help me.
so yesterday. bought 3 more angelfishes to replace dad's dead ones. bought dem a home to play hide-and-seek to. haf yet to place it in coz e angelfishes are quite "fierce", as e fish-seller says. so waiting for irul to help me. will udate pix as soon as e house is placed in.
niwaes. started e day by waking up, bathing...etc.etc. den mum brought me to dr.sidek's clinic for removal of my tattoos. yep. i took e 1st step of removing e tattoos on both my arms today, and whoooooooo-booooooooiiiiiiiii...it hurts a whole damn lot!!! dey are still stinging me as im typing dis, so dis entry gona be quite short. well. yar. so dats about it. i haf about another 5-6 more to go. damn. im dreading to tink about e other tattos on my body. uuurrrgghh. wen i did e ones on my arms, it didnt hurt at all.
i refuse to imagine e pain i will feel wen i remove e otha tattoos on my otha parts of my body..god. help me.
13 March, 2007
irul juz left for home after we redecorated my fish tank. (thank u dear.) god. its been awhile since i wana go and do juz dat. so juz now in e noon, we went out. bought some sand and leaves for e tank. and i bought another 10 small neon fishes. hehe. i promise: no more unknown chemicals. so my end result.....
the one wif e only survivor of e angelfish clan.
aka the one with the new-look fish tank.
the one wif e new leaves deco.
the one wif e neon fishes.
the one wif all e big fishes.
the one with the humongous suckerfish.
im so proud. finally. some changes to e tank so dat e fishes can swim around and play. wanted to get a few more stuff as well but am financially strapped. e next most important thing on e list is to get a new filter. nicer looking and smaller so dat it doesnt hog e whole of e opening of e tank. n get corals for dem to play hide and seek. tee-hee. (even tho i tink its gona b abit cramped, but oh well. its worth trying.) and of cos to get more fishes. get dem more friends to play wif. hope it doesnt get too overcrowded. hehe.
ok on to serious stuff.
den. on last sat evening. i found out smting by sumone i known as a fren from e past. more to say he was once dd's fren. he told me stuff dat maybe was meant to be a secret or wateva. or maybe was never to beknown to any others 'cept those who haf known.
aniwaes. on 09.09.06, apparently dd was engaged to effa, e gal whom he left me for. i heard rumours bout it but never taken it seriously. but it happened. i even got a confirmation from effa herself. and being dd, he also hasnt broken off e engagement properly. dey broke up in october. but not officially. knowing both his parents wun help him on dis, he seeked help from his neighbours as his wakil. he even made up stories bout me to her family, saying dat his family doesnt like me n such, so as to convince dem dat we're reali over. idiot.
e ting is, we believed dat he was under her spell, so i duno if dis was under e influenced of it or not. but one ting's for sure, i never am gona believe another word dat comes out of his mouth. enuf of him making me play e fool. dis has gone far too much for me to handle. to get her pregnant and an abortion before was bad enuf, but to haf all dis prove infront of my eyes is worse.
i talked to effa into giving me her engagement pix as prove of e event dat has taken place. to anybody, it culd be effa getting engaged to anyone else coz e guy wasnt der. but i noe it was him. der were his racing team friends der. n thou ive never seen dis neighbour of his, but wateva.
yet e onli ting dat reali convinced me dat its him was e cubic picture frame used to hold e hantaran money. bcoz he used e same for mine.
dats hers n mine on different dates but same frame, same amount.
dis was mine on 1st jan 06.
the neighbour who supposedly took care of him wen he was little.
bullshit.
the wakil n family.
the invited. c e gal in white n e guy next to e rite?
yar. both from attitude racing team.
the peepz and wakil coming over to e gals house wif e hantarans.
finally e hantarans.
i thot i was strong enuf to handle dis. wen i heard it from dem, i culd still swallow it all. but after looking at dis pix, and mine, it juz hurts so much. from e veri core of my hart. i culd fill my old wounds becoming undone and pain shoots thru me lyk anything.
it kills me dat after only being wif her for 4 short months, dey got engaged. it hurts me dat she's worth as much as me. its sickening dat i dun even noe it had happened. its disappointing to noe dat he turned out to be such a huge bastard.
all dis while, him talking bout patching up, crying his eyes out, but yet...
i used to say "u onli gt engaged once", but in his case? its 2 in a year. im juz so farking disappointed wif him. reali. reali.
now, im juz waiting for e rite mo 2 break dis 2 my parents and make him leave me. dis is definitely not my prob animore. dis is far too much for me to handle. nothing culd justify wat he did. if he culd b engaged to 2 gals at 1 tym, marrying 4 wun b much of a prob rite?
dats it. no more am i letting him step on me. he's carrying dis far too much now. hopefully dis tym round, Allah wil help me in getting me out of dis farked-up relationship.
ya Allah, please let me be strong in dis phase, n in handling all barriers dat you haf set for me. amin.
the one wif e only survivor of e angelfish clan.
aka the one with the new-look fish tank.
the one wif e new leaves deco.
the one wif e neon fishes.
the one wif all e big fishes.
the one with the humongous suckerfish.
im so proud. finally. some changes to e tank so dat e fishes can swim around and play. wanted to get a few more stuff as well but am financially strapped. e next most important thing on e list is to get a new filter. nicer looking and smaller so dat it doesnt hog e whole of e opening of e tank. n get corals for dem to play hide and seek. tee-hee. (even tho i tink its gona b abit cramped, but oh well. its worth trying.) and of cos to get more fishes. get dem more friends to play wif. hope it doesnt get too overcrowded. hehe.
ok on to serious stuff.
den. on last sat evening. i found out smting by sumone i known as a fren from e past. more to say he was once dd's fren. he told me stuff dat maybe was meant to be a secret or wateva. or maybe was never to beknown to any others 'cept those who haf known.
aniwaes. on 09.09.06, apparently dd was engaged to effa, e gal whom he left me for. i heard rumours bout it but never taken it seriously. but it happened. i even got a confirmation from effa herself. and being dd, he also hasnt broken off e engagement properly. dey broke up in october. but not officially. knowing both his parents wun help him on dis, he seeked help from his neighbours as his wakil. he even made up stories bout me to her family, saying dat his family doesnt like me n such, so as to convince dem dat we're reali over. idiot.
e ting is, we believed dat he was under her spell, so i duno if dis was under e influenced of it or not. but one ting's for sure, i never am gona believe another word dat comes out of his mouth. enuf of him making me play e fool. dis has gone far too much for me to handle. to get her pregnant and an abortion before was bad enuf, but to haf all dis prove infront of my eyes is worse.
i talked to effa into giving me her engagement pix as prove of e event dat has taken place. to anybody, it culd be effa getting engaged to anyone else coz e guy wasnt der. but i noe it was him. der were his racing team friends der. n thou ive never seen dis neighbour of his, but wateva.
yet e onli ting dat reali convinced me dat its him was e cubic picture frame used to hold e hantaran money. bcoz he used e same for mine.
dats hers n mine on different dates but same frame, same amount.
dis was mine on 1st jan 06.
the neighbour who supposedly took care of him wen he was little.
bullshit.
the wakil n family.
the invited. c e gal in white n e guy next to e rite?
yar. both from attitude racing team.
the peepz and wakil coming over to e gals house wif e hantarans.
finally e hantarans.
i thot i was strong enuf to handle dis. wen i heard it from dem, i culd still swallow it all. but after looking at dis pix, and mine, it juz hurts so much. from e veri core of my hart. i culd fill my old wounds becoming undone and pain shoots thru me lyk anything.
it kills me dat after only being wif her for 4 short months, dey got engaged. it hurts me dat she's worth as much as me. its sickening dat i dun even noe it had happened. its disappointing to noe dat he turned out to be such a huge bastard.
all dis while, him talking bout patching up, crying his eyes out, but yet...
i used to say "u onli gt engaged once", but in his case? its 2 in a year. im juz so farking disappointed wif him. reali. reali.
now, im juz waiting for e rite mo 2 break dis 2 my parents and make him leave me. dis is definitely not my prob animore. dis is far too much for me to handle. nothing culd justify wat he did. if he culd b engaged to 2 gals at 1 tym, marrying 4 wun b much of a prob rite?
dats it. no more am i letting him step on me. he's carrying dis far too much now. hopefully dis tym round, Allah wil help me in getting me out of dis farked-up relationship.
ya Allah, please let me be strong in dis phase, n in handling all barriers dat you haf set for me. amin.
12 March, 2007
ok. a wk more 1 go. excited. nervous. all in one. ok. stay calm. mum refuses to send me to school or lend me e car coz i start way earlier den her n she's forcing me to take e public transport. uurrrggghhh. buses are damn cold in e morning. hate it. now clothes is another problem. i dun haf anything 2 wear to school!!! well. maybe i do for e 1st week, but e week after dat? n e next? god. its hard work coordinating clothes. if i'd known i'd become a teacher 1 day i wuldnt haf had all dis body art on me. (im not regretting anything. im juz saying.) haix. maybe i'll start thinking bout all dis on wed, and ders shoes to think about. god.
help me.
help me.
09 March, 2007
did meaningful stuff yesterday. woke up early. vacuumed house n rooms. changed bedsheets and living room cushions. rearranged dining table n sofa. cleaned e fish tank. wif e help of irul.
u wuld tink e fishes wuld be hepi to be in a clean environment, clean water everything. but instead, one by one decided to leave me!!! ade kepatut?!? 1st, e 20 neon fishes. and den e baby sucker fish. den today 2 of daddy's angelfish left. aiyoh. duno how to be grateful la dis fishes. ok i admit. a teeny wee bit of my fault coz i mixed in chemicals to e clean water, but it stated der "TO CURE FISHES OF......"..so i thot y not?!? how am i to noe dat dis wuld happen to dem?? dad is sooooooooooooo going to kill me. so basically, my fish tank is now quite empty, left wif only 3 discus n 1 angelfish; filter pump; n sm stones. so e super botak. thot of buying sum more juz now in e afternoon but got tired and sleepy. furthermore irul also hegey2 so naik malas lah.
takpe. bsk go out wip mum n dad den ask dem get proper deco for e fish tank and more fishes.
hopefully, e discuses wun die.......
u wuld tink e fishes wuld be hepi to be in a clean environment, clean water everything. but instead, one by one decided to leave me!!! ade kepatut?!? 1st, e 20 neon fishes. and den e baby sucker fish. den today 2 of daddy's angelfish left. aiyoh. duno how to be grateful la dis fishes. ok i admit. a teeny wee bit of my fault coz i mixed in chemicals to e clean water, but it stated der "TO CURE FISHES OF......"..so i thot y not?!? how am i to noe dat dis wuld happen to dem?? dad is sooooooooooooo going to kill me. so basically, my fish tank is now quite empty, left wif only 3 discus n 1 angelfish; filter pump; n sm stones. so e super botak. thot of buying sum more juz now in e afternoon but got tired and sleepy. furthermore irul also hegey2 so naik malas lah.
takpe. bsk go out wip mum n dad den ask dem get proper deco for e fish tank and more fishes.
hopefully, e discuses wun die.......
08 March, 2007
eversince i got accepted into the diploma in art education program by NIE, my parents haf been nothing but a nag. i noe i look nothing lyk a teacher but culd u at least pretend to be hepi for me?!? aiyoh. wen i got e letter, mum was lyk, "ah ok." dad absolutely said nothing. e F more worse, "ok lor go try it out." hell-o!! its a biga deal for me aites??!? e oni people so enthusiastic for me were irul, najib, lin n nana. irul was e craziest, as always. n i noe he is genuinely hepi for me. *thank u*
so today e mail came in n i found out were i got posted to. nan chiau high sch. again. mom; no reaction. irul, "i noe dat place! loadsa chinese, few malays...etc,etc!!"same goes for nana. haiyoh. other people is so hepi for me yet mom n dad sees me invisible. even if dey r proud me, dey aint veri gd at showing it. i tink. takperlah. da biaser pon.
so ok. 10 more days to school. muz be boring. mostly chinese. i bet most are girls. ok lah. at least i cant use my profound vocab of vulgarity in malay. hehe.
now. e F took leave tomorrow, asking me to go on a holiday wif him. he's gone missing since last thurs, and suddenly he expects me to be ready to go? so typically him. told him to get permission from my mum. i tink mum said no. niwaes, not impt. dun tink i can go also. as if mum wuld let me be alone wif him in a foreign country. kee-hee-hee.
so now in dis 10 days i gotta rearrange my sleeping habits so dat im good and ready on 19th. im so excited n yet so e super nervous at the same tym. takper la. asalkan gaji masuk ok lah tu. bingit jek kering slalu. hekz.
so today e mail came in n i found out were i got posted to. nan chiau high sch. again. mom; no reaction. irul, "i noe dat place! loadsa chinese, few malays...etc,etc!!"same goes for nana. haiyoh. other people is so hepi for me yet mom n dad sees me invisible. even if dey r proud me, dey aint veri gd at showing it. i tink. takperlah. da biaser pon.
so ok. 10 more days to school. muz be boring. mostly chinese. i bet most are girls. ok lah. at least i cant use my profound vocab of vulgarity in malay. hehe.
now. e F took leave tomorrow, asking me to go on a holiday wif him. he's gone missing since last thurs, and suddenly he expects me to be ready to go? so typically him. told him to get permission from my mum. i tink mum said no. niwaes, not impt. dun tink i can go also. as if mum wuld let me be alone wif him in a foreign country. kee-hee-hee.
so now in dis 10 days i gotta rearrange my sleeping habits so dat im good and ready on 19th. im so excited n yet so e super nervous at the same tym. takper la. asalkan gaji masuk ok lah tu. bingit jek kering slalu. hekz.
05 March, 2007
so irul's sis is safely married now. pix galore now.
the one wif the deco in e bride's rm.
the one wif e milk-time bridesmaid.
the one wif e smallest couple.
the one wif the phototaking.
hehe.so dats it for e weekend...
the one wif the deco in e bride's rm.
the one wif e milk-time bridesmaid.
the one wif e smallest couple.
the one wif the phototaking.
the one wif the face.
den comes us....eksen married lah pulak..
hehe.so dats it for e weekend...
01 March, 2007
its early thurs morning n im up, blogging. its been quite sumtyms since i slept alone, considering e fact dat ive bn hiding irul in ma bedroom for e past 2-3 days. hehe. maybe e fact his warmth is not tucking me to bed rite now also adds to e fact dat i cant go back to sleep. yesh. i mish having sumone snuggle me to sleep. e F is so out of it now coz now i reali noe dat we dun fit.
wana change ma blogskin later. getting bored wif dis oreadi. yesh. ive got too much tym to waste now. hehe. ok, ok. countdown timer says 17 more days!!! im so excited. but i aint got clothes to wear. haix. will think bout dat next week i think.
ive became a reruns-of-tv-sitcom-friends addict now. been downloading e shows to fill up my spare tym. i hate watching e last episode coz it makes me cry thou its wonderful dat rachel n ross got back together. watching e earlier episodes of fun n wacky-ness of wach character makes u wonder why dey even gota end e show. well. despite e fact dat each one is getting on years. e set has been around for 10 good years!
its wonderful and marvellous how their friendship grows and grows..thruout. i used to haf a group of frenz lyk dat. me. irul. nana. khairil. lynn. najib. see? enuf of us to be a character of friends. but till 2day ive yet managed to see who's who. but dat didnt matter anymore. coz we're now living in our own world. we're left wif pairs now. if onli. if onli i could be in a frindship group lyk dat...i wonder.
wana change ma blogskin later. getting bored wif dis oreadi. yesh. ive got too much tym to waste now. hehe. ok, ok. countdown timer says 17 more days!!! im so excited. but i aint got clothes to wear. haix. will think bout dat next week i think.
ive became a reruns-of-tv-sitcom-friends addict now. been downloading e shows to fill up my spare tym. i hate watching e last episode coz it makes me cry thou its wonderful dat rachel n ross got back together. watching e earlier episodes of fun n wacky-ness of wach character makes u wonder why dey even gota end e show. well. despite e fact dat each one is getting on years. e set has been around for 10 good years!
its wonderful and marvellous how their friendship grows and grows..thruout. i used to haf a group of frenz lyk dat. me. irul. nana. khairil. lynn. najib. see? enuf of us to be a character of friends. but till 2day ive yet managed to see who's who. but dat didnt matter anymore. coz we're now living in our own world. we're left wif pairs now. if onli. if onli i could be in a frindship group lyk dat...i wonder.
looks yummy hurh?!?
hekz. had dinner at sakura dwntwn east wif mum n her colleagues. costed about 30 bux each person. but. woah. worth it man. shulda go check it out peepz. but meanwhile. enjoy dis yummy-licious pixs. hehe.
den. while browsing thru ma dahlinks, im beginning to mish ma lil peeps of nafa. ders crazy gegerl. wacky wanie n gang. 1 day i'll grow old n who noes who still remembers who. its weird how u guys once walked in my life yet it all now seems so far away. n not forgetting wanie's cuzzin, tik, whom ive known practically thru my puberty years. i wonder wat e hell am i doing wif ma life!! is it me forgetting dem or juz dat ive become a touch n go in their lives? e onli fren dat i seem to haf lifelong is nana, who currently is so busy snogging khairil, seems to haf forgotten me. (hehe!) i mean. everyone is busy wif their own lives rite? but it juz seems weird dat once upon a tym we see each other almost every single day and now its juz a hi n bye?? e onli ones whom i see hangs ard me now is irul. irul. and irul. even i seldom see kenit animore!!!gosh.
i nid a new life. a revamp on my fren list.
do u wana b my lifelong fren, i wonder?